"We go on hurting each other..

We go on hurting each other..

Making each other cry..

Hurting each other..

Without ever knowing why.."

-Hurting Each Other by The Carpenters

Somehow, it feels strange to be alone again after long years of being in a relationship especially when you chose to still be friends with your ex.

It’s sad to let go of the memories that you've shared. It’s heart-wrecking to remember your first date, first kiss, the first time he met your relatives, how you get along together so well that others think you’re just siblings (or cousins), the “kilig” moments, how he used to fetch you after a long tiring day at school, how he used to cheer you up, how he used to surprise you on special occasions, the silly games you play, how he holds your hand, how he stare at you as if you are the most beautiful woman on the entire universe, how you used to talk about your future, how your home should look like, how many kids you want to have, what will be the names of these kids, the “kulitan”, your pet name, how you used to stay up all night just to talk to him  and other stuff like that.

Maybe he’s right. We’re not on the same wavelengths anymore. We’re not even on the same time zone.

So I told myself, “Okay. Fine. I think this is it. It’s time to say the magic word.”

I didn’t cry. Maybe because I have this mindset that we will be together again someday but as days pass by, I started to doubt it. Well, I think this is just a phase. I will get over it soon. Now I have to focus on my thesis and film production and direction class. But what the heck, how will I be able to do that when my mind is clouded up with all these sentiments?

Damn. Sudden gushes. Sometimes I wish I could erase some of my memories so that it will not hurt this bad. But I have to deal with this maturely. Crying will not bring anything back to the way it was.

But as they say, things happen for a reason. There’s still a lot of time and we’re still young. We might bump into each other again somewhere and have a small talk and blah blah blah..

Maybe he will be able to find somebody better than me and maybe I will be able to meet someone too. Or maybe we will end up realizing that it is really “us”, we just have to have a breather. Nobody knows what the future holds anyway.

Guess for the meantime, I just have to enjoy this roller coaster ride.

“Hanging around..

Nothing to do but frown..

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down..”

As usual, I woke up late. It’s a Monday and I don’t have classes on Mondays but during this day of the week, I have to meet my thesismates. So I dragged myself off to Altura.

Well, I have this habit that whenever I am on a jeepney and stuck in a traffic jam, I look at random people walking on the sidewalk. So while I was watching people walk by, I noticed this girl wearing black pants, black long sleeves top (or maybe that was a jacket) and black rubber shoes with red linings carrying a black studded shoulder bag. I wondered for a moment if I knew her because she looked familiar. She was walking towards the route of the jeepney I am in. When she got a little closer, my reaction was “No f*cking way! That isn’t her! NO. NO WAY!” Yeah, I think I overacted but that was really the exact words that I uttered to myself when I realized that I really do know her.

I hated her; almost cursed her. We didn’t really met, but how will I not know her? She was the person who dragged my boyfriend in a deed. I hated her up to my bone morrows. I don’t know. Maybe because I felt cheated when I found out that my boyfriend is no longer innocent and that girl was the one who took his innocence away. I swear I hated her. But as I grew older, I learned to accept the fact that we cannot undo things that happened in the past.  We may regret doing it but that will never change anything.

I tried to befriend her but things didn’t go well. I still want to be friends with her but I guess, fate doesn’t really want me to.

She looks worried and sad while walking on the sidewalk. She ran her fingers through her hair thrice and pursed her lips. It seems to me that she was thinking about something very important; a project, maybe. I was so tempted to go down and approach her just for the heck of it. Silly, but a thought popped in my mind that this is a twist of fate and we may be friends in an instant if I approach her and try to have a small talk. But I didn’t. I’m not crazy enough to do that. Besides, my thesismates are already waiting for me.

I stared at her as the jeepney started to move away and I whispered, “Au revoir”.

It felt like I was in a movie scene. Indeed, I am weird to think of those things. Coincidence? Destiny? I have no idea.

Random Post.

Maybe because I was exposed to chick flicks, I used to think that true love was easy to have.

You see, most of the love stories that we see or read always have happy endings. For example, the dude and the girl met at a bar and boom! It was love at first sight. Dude courts the girl then they will be together. Dude or girl screws up and they will break-up. One of them will realize the worth of the other so dude/girl will find a way for them to get back together. Some silly and cheesy thing will happen and yes, just like that and they will be together again.

Unfortunately, this is not what happens in real life. Most of the time, it is like this: The person you like doesn't like you back and you don’t like the person who likes you. Why is that?! Well, I don’t know either.

You have to understand that LIKE and LOVE is not synonymous. Well, they may be but they are not. The main reason why relationships don’t last is because he LIKES her and she LOVES him or the other way around. Do you get it now?

Friends. Just Friends.

It’s funny how I could remember moments that happened to us and you couldn't. I guess this is the downside of having a diary or a journal. I can’t help but smile whenever I reread my journal entries about you – about us. I don’t know why we were like that and if you really meant what you said to me during those times. I still ask myself if it was just a show or a trick you played on me just because you sensed that I like you so much. Did you just give me false hopes? If yes, then why did you do that?

You used to complete my day by just sending a simple text message or leaving me a message on facebook. I like you a lot and to tell you the truth, I still fancy you. I used to daydream that we’re together, holding hands, you kissing me on the cheek and stuff like that. I used to think that fairytales are real, that I am a princess locked in a dungeon and someday a prince or a knight will come to rescue me, marry me and we will live happily ever after. Oh but hey, I forgot that a princess is a daughter of a king; her family is influential, high class and wealthy. So yeah, I am NOT qualified as a princess and I will NEVER be. I am nothing but an ordinary human being dreaming to be loved and wanted.

Sometimes I wonder if you have a selective amnesia but never mind. Do you still remember when you sent me a text message telling me that you like me? I want to know if it is true and if you really mean it.

I’m still confused. I don’t get it why a guy would accompany a girl to the movie house, give her stuff that will make her happy and request for a hug before parting ways if this guy doesn’t really like her to be more than friends. Guess, I’m just giving so much meaning to things. Oh by the way, you said you’re not like this to other girls but I don’t know if that’s true.

I don’t know. I don’t understand why you don’t like me (Oh no, that sounded so desperate). I guess that’s how it is; a prince is meant to marry a princess and not just an ordinary homo sapiens.

But I am cool with it. It’s better to be this way; at least I will not lose you. Couples may break up, part ways and then they’re strangers again. But friends are not like that; they may part ways but they will remain as friends. When they see each other once more, they tend to catch up and both of them are happy to bump into each other again.

I will just always be here for you and I know that you will just be there for me as well. I will still love you but I will just do it discreetly. You see, you don’t have to love me the way I love you. All I want is you stay with me and that will be better than us being in a romantic relationship.

P.S.

Thank you for accepting me for who I am. Stay with me, will you?

Para Sa Aking Bituin

Mananatili kang isang bituin sa aking paningin
Nakatutuwang isipin, Hindi ko akalain
Isa pala talaga akong hangal 'pagkat inakala kong maari kitang kunin
Pinilit kang abutin, sungkitin
Ngunit nang malapit na kitang mahawakan
Napaso ako't panungkit ay nabitawan

Mananatili kang isang bituin sa aking paningin
Ang pangarap na makuha ka'y tinangay na ng hangin
Tama nga yata ang sabi ng nakararami
Na mas maganda kung ika'y akin na lamang titingalain
Sa gayon, di ako mapapaso o masasaktan
Mas nababagay ka naman talaga diyan sa kalangitan

O paalam, aking bituin
Di ka naman talaga yuyuko para sa akin
Kay layo ng langit dito sa inaapakan kong lupain
Makakahanap din ako ng mas nakahihigit sa'yo
Hindi na ako muling titingala sa langit
O paalam, aking bituin

Hanggang saan ang kaya mong ibigay para sa pag-ibig? Anu-ano ang mga bagay na handa mong isuko para sa pag-ibig?

Paano mo masasabing totoo ang pa-ibig kung hindi nito kayang magtanggol? Paano mo masasabing totoo ang pag-ibig kung hindi ito marunong lumaban?

Hindi tayo magkapareho ng paraan ng pag-ibig. Gusto ko lang naman noon, may magmahal sa’kin sa kung sino at ano ako. Oo, siguro nga ganoon ang ginawa mo. Ngunit madalas mong sabihin na ako, hindi kita tanggap. Magkaibang-magkaiba tayo ng pananaw. Siguro dahil magkaiba tayo ng kinagisnan.

Malabo. Hindi tayo magkatagpo. Palagi na lang akong talo. Sa lahat ng pasya, ikaw ang laging panalo.

Ewan ko. Minsan, napapaisip ako kung talaga bang mahal mo ko.

Naaalala mo pa ba ‘yung kwento ng Iron Man 3?

Naaalala mo pa ba kung anong nangyari?

Siguro nga sa pelikula lang nangyayri ang mga ganoong bagay.

‘Yung isinuko ng lalaki ang lahat, mas pinili na lang na makasama ang taong minamahal niya at mamuhay ng simple at mapayapa.

Oo. ako nga si Pepper Potts. Pero hindi ka si Tony Stark.

"Ayaw Na Namin Ng Baboy!"

By: Chelsea Micah G. Abarca and Danica Marie A. Arellano

Who would have thought that a facebook post would wake the sleeping Filipinos to fight for what they think will be better for the country?

It started when Neocolours’ vocalist, Ito Rapadas, posted on facebook that it is now time for the Filipinos to speak up and gather at the Luneta Park for an anti-pork barrel protest. The said status, like a raging fire, was shared by a lot of netizens. Because a large number of people showed interest of joining the said activity, a facebook event entitled “A Million People’s March to Luneta” was created by Peachy Breataña, one of the concerned netizens who re-posted Rapadas’ post.

The the said protest has two aims. One is to abolish the Priority Development Assistance Fund (PDAF) or better known as “pork barrel”. The other is to get the suspects and make them liable to the crime they did.

An estimated number of 75,000 people joined the protest last August 26, 2013. According to Manila Bulletin, the protesters ranged from nuns and priests and students to businessmen, middle-class families, lawyers, and other professionals.

Furthermore, protest of the same kind was also held in Puerto Prinsesa, Baguio, Cebu, Davao, Dumaguete and Iloilo. Also, Overseas Filipino Workers at San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York in America showed their support by having their respective gathering.

It is nice to see that Filipinos are being united once again just like what happened in the People Power Revolution. We do hope that the government will not just close their eyes and as well as to pretend not to hear the appeal of the people.

Remember what President Benigno Aquino III said to the Filipino people in his first State of the Nation Address?

“Kayo ang boss ko.”

Well Mister President, your bosses had spoken; and you should listen to what they want you to do.

The following photos will show you what the Filipinos really want for the government to implement.

Straight into the eyes. This man represents the Filipino mass pleading for
a valid explanation regarding the Pork Barrel.(Photo by Chelsea Micah Abarca)

The hunks got guts. Standing boldly are three good-looking men who wanted
a reform against the anomaly in the government.
(Photo by Chelsea Micah Abarca)

Never say die. Skeleton man cries out towards
the desire for PDAF’s discontinuity.
(Photo by Chelsea Micah Abarca)

Chill.  There are a lot more things to come, let everything
cool itself down. (Photo by Chelsea Micah Abarca)

Never Give Up. The Filipino’s trademark amidst pain, struggles, and
hardships is our enthusiasm to fight and move forward.
(Photo by Chelsea Micah Abarca)

Boycott is not for Boy Scouts. This effigy stands for
all the Boy Scouts of the Philippines who wanted
to prepare the youth for responsible leadership.
(Photo by Chelsea Micah Abarca)

Move Forward. With their clenched fists up in the air, these men

led their group to march. (Photo by Danica Marie Arellano)

Age Doesn't Matter. Even this kid has something

to say. (Photo by Danica Marie A. Arellano)

Not Just Your Ordinary Higante. These paper mache giants

became the center of attraction during the protest.

(Photo by Danica Marie Arellano)

We Won’t Be Silent. These students from Polytechnic University 

of the Philippines are very determined to convince the youth to join

the Youth Act Now. (Photo by Danica Marie Arellano)

 Thumbs Down. For people who don’t have placards, this is

another way of saying that they want to abolish the

pork barrel. (Photo by Danica Marie Arellano)

Oink! Oink! Oink! Filipino Comedian Mae Paner also known as

Juana Changedressed up as a pig and performed a satire.

(Photo by Danica Marie Arellano)

__________________________________________________________________

Sources:

http://manila-bulletin.net/blog/2013/08/27/vendors-among-protesters/ (Published on August 27, 2013)

The Daily Sun (Published on August 26, 2013)